Hello stranger

It's been so long since I stopped by, I realize!

So much has been happening from weddings (1 for my best friend from childhood, and another coming up for my brother-in-law next month), to babies (our newest nephew was born yesterday - welcome Chase Matthew!) and another childhood friend is pregnant with her first baby.

We've been going on small vacations here and there and getting C ready for his first days of pre-school. I've also been pretty good with my eating habits as I've lost about 14 lbs over the past month and some so i am thrilled about that!

I do miss writing here and on my old gourd blog so I am going to try to start up again, but i will only do it here to make things easier! After all, "losing it" isn't just about the weight.

Wednesday, May 6th

Food:
1 - scrambled egg whites, onion, tbs salsa, slice am. cheese
2 - zone perfect bar
3 - salad with chicken, apple, ff raspberry dressing, tbs goat cheese & 2 wasa lightncrisps
4 - choc protein shake
5 - ?
6 - protein pudding

Exercise:
AM - intervals on elliptical

Water:
20 cups

Tuesday, June 5th

Food:
1 - Berry protein shake
2 - Zone Perfect bar
3 - Chicken salad with apple, tbs FF mayo
4 - protein shake
5 - chicken, yam, green beans
6 - protein pudding

Exercise:
AM - missed alarm
Midday: 30 min. walk
PM - Upper Body: Barbell Bench Press, overhead Barbell Press, chin-ups, dips, bent over barbell row

Water:
20 cups

Monday, June 4th

Food:
1 - Berry Protein Shake
2 - Protein Pancakes
3 - Chicken salad with small apple & ff mayo
4 - 3 light wasa crisps, chicken, 1 small protein pancake
5 - scrambled egg whites w/2 slices bacon & onion & spoon of macaroni salad
6 - Yoplait light whips! chocolate.. yummm.

Exercise:
AM - LBWO: Front squats, RDLs, leg extensions, rev. lunges until I strained my L quad.. OUCH. PM - 45 min. walk

Water:
20 cups

living with intention

babies, babies everywhere... My baby fever is raging and its all I think about these days. As the discussions have been had and ideal plans have been made its all becoming more of a reality as we hope to increase our family of 3, to 4.

The typical questions and fears come to my mind as I worry about C and how he'll deal with this addition... more and more I know he'll be fine as lately, even he seems to have baby fever. I also worry about my ability as a mother of two children.. the favoring, giving equally of my time and love. I know its possible and I know I'll be fine, but, its hard to not think about it once in a while.

For the present, however, this plan has made me cherish the moments C and I have together now. Just us. I watch him more intensely and with more joy and love. I laugh with him more often. And all of this is not to say that I did not do these things before, its just that I feel it more. I am living each day intentionally and not going through each moment like a zombie.

As I sit and watch him, its hard for me to not think of Joy and it saddens me so deeply that she is only able to watch from above and that Thor doesn't have interactions with her. I often think about C in this situation and I imagine him without me here and it brings me to tears. Sure, children are resilient... but I cannot imagine being a child who has his mother one day but not the next.

Speaking of Joy, a kc and jojo song came on the other day and I laughed out loud, then cried, remembering ,like it was yesterday, singing this song with Kwas.

Ultimately, her death has truly made me appreciate my life more, which has led me to live more intentionally, love more deeply and laugh more often.

It is because of this that I am certain I will be able to bring another life into the world and love him or her just as deeply as I do C.

Wednesday, May 30th

Food:
1 - Protein shake: Skim, mixed berries, 100% whey
2 - Protein Pancakes w/ SF syrup
3 - Tuna, salsa, black beans, mini whole wheat pita
4 - 4 oz chicken
5 - 3 oz salmon, 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta
6 - Protein shake: skim, berries, 100% whey

Water:
16 cups

Exercise:
Either 3o min. Intervals or 60 min. Low Intensity Active Recovery
(depends on how bad my DOMS have set in..)

Tuesday, May 29th

Food:
1 - Protein shake: Skim, mixed berries, 100% whey
2 - Zone Perfect Bar, 1 protein pancake, black coffee
3 - Tuna, salsa, black beans, mini whole wheat pita
4 - 4 oz chicken
5 - 4 oz grilled chicken, 3 cups lettuce, 1/2 cucumber, 1tbs FF raspberry pecan dressing, 1/2 c rice pilaf
6 - Protein shake: skim, berries, 100% whey

Water:
16 cups

Exercise:
35 min. LBWO:
4 sets of 10 each exercise:
Front Squats, Reverse Barbell Lunge, Lying Leg Curls, Stiff Legged Deadlift